It all started with “Can I whisper in your ear?”
Her exact response was “mmmmmmm tfadl” – A response in arabic; the exact Englishtranslation is “mmmmmmmm please go ahead.” My vision and purpose was to whisper inher soft bunny shaped ear, in hopes that my voice and words would reach her 829 lb. cherry filled heart. I needed to find an open passage with no obstacles or hurdles to ensure my message was sent directly to the heart shaped object that lies deeps within her.
At that moment, as my heart pounded intensely and screamed her name, I felt as if I was in a gladiator battlefield battling opponents in hopes that I set my feelings and thoughts free. I felt as if I was carrying a message in a bullet proof bottle. I feared precisely where in the ocean to set my message free in hopes that it reached her (the final destination). May I count on the hurdling ocean waves to navigate my message appropriately through the tumbling waters? Or perhaps, am I better off passing my voice and words to an actual physical being messenger? Hmmm, that worries me, what if the messenger does not communicate my words with passion? What if my message is truncated and not fully expressed and she does not feel the weight, impact, and vibration of the characters that depart my mouth.
I sit here, 1,000 of miles away, confused, lost, wondering, how do I express my deepest feelings to her on the day of Valentines. The distance alone may be at times painful, but the simple thought of her in my arms leads me to believe she is right here with me. Twiddling my thumbs, wondering, hmmm, she must know today, she must feel what I feel, how do I inject these words directly into her heart to ensure she feels the full effect immediately?
I’ve come to realize, no matter how these words and feelings are communicated, no matter what path it takes (physical, internet, voice, letterhead, plane, sea, desert), it will NEVER be enough. It will never communicate exact feelings and truly express what lies deep within me. I’ve analyzed the situation for over 31 years now, and I’ve concluded that this love is so deep, that it will take a lifetime to express its true nature. I ask you my dear partner, be patient with me, we have a lifetime together and it will take me exactly THAT to express my true feelings. For now, I ask that you look deep within my eyes, deep within my heart and simply feel and sense my heart. Words are word. But if you look within, deep within, you will see a past, present and more importantly a bright future. Take hold of my fingertips and hold tight, fasten your seat belt with my arms and ensure it’s extra tight, and just lay back and enjoy this beautiful life that we share together.
It’s just another Valentine’s Day (in my opinion). Well, it’s my 1st Valentine’s Day having someone extra special in my life. Nothing changes, nothing at all. But I remind you of my life long journey to express and communicate my love. You are my target. Again, nothing changes today. Well, one thing does, my feelings continue to grow. And the beauty is, those feelings don’t require water, sun light, fertilizer, they are so deeply rooted that they now have become a part of my existence.
God Bless. Happy Valentine’s Day (code name: 829,1223), and shhhhhh, just keep your lips shut and eyes closed and let me love you like I know how to.